Advent 15: Joy

Advent 15: Joy

We lit the third candle on the Advent wreath by the pond this morning. Traditionally, it’s the candle of joy, so last night, I wrote a little prayer based on joy.

O God, how can I have joy?
A state devastated by tornadoes,
a country divided by vaccine,
a cancer diagnosis that comes back positive,
a friend who is always negative,
a planet in danger.
And there are so many who quietly murmur:
“another damned day
in this job,
in this relationship,
in this skin of mine.”

Lord have mercy on all those situations. And so I want to know, how can I find joy?
because I can’t find it;
in my accomplishments,
in my goals,
in my toys,
in my judgments,
in my feelings.

But that’s just it, isn’t it?
Joy is never a mine,
as if I could own it,
control it,
order it up on my phone.

Release me from expecting a feeling of joy to be delivered right on time to my doorstep.

Help me instead to be grateful when joy surprises;
as soft light sparkling through half-barren trees,
as sun and rain join with earth—birthing garden,
as wagging tails, pig snorts, and birthing cows,
as horses gliding across pasture with almost-wings,
and a belly laugh that I ever took myself so seriously.

Thank you for times when I’ve experienced joy in;
a hug of forgiveness,
a mouth full of gratitude,
a breathing out-accepting life as it is,
a sipping in of coffee at sunrise,
a giving away of time to another,
a pulling together within the community,
—all gifts given in the present moment,
because that’s the only place I’ve ever experienced joy.

You are the God born into every present moment. Good news of great joy.